Adarlan's Assasian

*meekly waves*
Heeeeeey guys


I'm sorry.
I lack, I know I do.
Instead of dwelling on my poor updates, lets focus on a heart stopping and action packed series that has transformed me. Seriously. In weak moments I whisper to myself 'What would Celeana do?'
Celeana Sardothian, the protagonist of Throne of Glass.. Even her name exudes coolness.
Celeana is the most feared assassin in the City of Adarlan, ruled by a tyrannical king of whose arbitrary evilness we learn later. These inspiring books have one thing in common, its the same every time. From the Harry Potter series to George Martins A song of ice and fire. They expand on the nitty gritty details. These authors have thought about everything. There are no loopholes because the authors have crafted the world so perfectly. Everything builds up and the authors have meticulously paid attention to every aspect of the world they have invented. Something you notice in the beginning of a series may make sense halfway through the third book. It all slots together and there's nothing better than piecing the information and fist pumping the air whilst whisper screaming YEAH YEAH YEAH (because you don't want your mum to bang on the wall at 3 in the morning)
Sarah J Maas has executed this perfectly. The world that she's created deserves a never-ending series. It's all the things that add up. Back to Celeana. Celeana is part of the Assassin's Keep in which some of the best Assassins in the whole kingdom reside under the watchful eye of Abrobbyn. Don't be fooled. Abrobbyn isn't the Sensei, nor is he some Yoda. He's a man in his thirties that makes little kids dangle from windows 50 feet above the ground to exercise control. He also has no qualms about beating them black and blue. We hear some of the stories Celeana's been through and they are not pretty. She's been through a lot to come out top. Although he's a misogynistic pig, he's still fond of Celeana and there's always a weird kind of tension between them. He's willing to indulge her with her expensive taste in dresses and jewellery as long as she kills all the targets from clients. All we learn about her background in the first book is that Celeana was found abandoned and unconscious at age 7 in the woods. Alongside Celeana serves Sam, another Assassin.
(*sobs wretchedly in the corner but can't really explain why without spoilers goddammit*)
The first book starts off with Celeana almost escaping one of the harshest prison slave camps in the kingdom. The salt mines of Endovier. Imagine a concentration camp. Laboured to the death in barbaric conditions. Slacking for more than a minute is unheard of but Celeana nearly did the impossible. She fought her way past the inhumane soldiers in the mines and had reached the border. The punishment that followed was savage.
We don't learn why or what Celeanas doing there. Shortly after, the King of Adarlan sends his son, Prince Dorian to retrieve Celeana. She is to take part in a brutal and bestial competition on who wins the title of the Kings Hand, the kings personal assassin. They offer her a irresistible bargain. If she does win the competition after serving as the King's hand for a certain number of years, her name would be cleared and she would be given freedom. In the nail-biting and fiery competition that ensues, we meet Chaol, the captain of the guard. A dedicated soldier and best friend to the prince.He trains Celeana and helps her to top the ranks. Not that she needs that much training anyway seeing as she is the best assassin in Adarlan, and doesn't she know it. A budding romance slowly blossoms between them. Her composed and standoffish attitude is to ward people away, but her genuine character shines through as the story progresses. One of the main things that makes this series legendary is character development. We see a very superficial girl at the beginning of the series, one who's determined to prove shes the best. She slowly morphs into a girl with something to loose, She makes friends, among them Princess Nehemia, a representative from another country so that peace would be retained. She flourishes with the new found relationships and the way she lets down her barriers but still manages to uphold the airs of mystery and danger is phenomenal. With a bit of trouble from Wyrd creatures and dark magic Celeana becomes the kings right hand. (WE BLOODY KNEW IT)
Obviously there had to be a few complications on the way BUT iv'e already revealed 79.6% of the plot so read it guys, honestly. I cannot praise this book enough. Its a total 5 kick ass stars from me.
Stay tuned for the review of the second book, Crown of Midnight for even more kick-ass-ery. (I'm sorry. That was painful)

Fangirl reads Fangirl

An apology is in order, I have completely surpassed the month of February and we're closer to April than we've ever been. I don't feel like showering excuses on you BUT I have moved houses. *showers excuses*

 I am no longer living with my parents and am also swamped with exams. (I can barely see you) Lots of new things are happening and I cannot completely say I'm elated (I'm a human. We hate change) but I'm learning to live with it.

I love how what is supposed to be a book reviewing blog turns into me just talking about my life and complaining about how I never get enough time to read and review and read and blog and read. However, I have been squeezing in a book or two from *GASP the library. How? How did I, keeper of books, manage to give them back? Well let me tell you, it was after a letter I got at home stating I owed £29 to the library after just two weeks (I swear it was just two weeks) since then I have been hiding the books I cannot return in the library itself. I am not ashamed. Its hard to explain but its like the magic of the book disappears after somebody else uses it. (No I do not need a psychiatrist) I'm learning guys, I can do it. One of these so called books that I have decided to read, hide (although I checked yesterday and it wasn't there behind the shelf #cry) and then review is Fangirl, by Rainbow Rowell.

Definition;

A rabid, wild breed of often human females who are obsessed with either a fictitious character in a book, or perhaps a band member or an actor/singer. Fangirls congregate at anime conventions, concerts, book signings or O2L gatherings. They have been known to glomp, grope and tackle when encountering the said obsessions. 

There are few things people can accuse me of but most definitely I can be held accountable for being part of quite a few fandoms.

I am an avid fan of Sherlock Holmes and love love love how Robert Downey Jr. represented him in both movies. Don't get me started on Marvel. (ultimate ship is WHOLOCK. YES GUYS. JUST YES)
I am also part of the Cumberpatch fandom. His acting skills are amazing (The imitation game was sheer ingenuity) I. LOVE. HOGGY HOGGY HOGWARTS. Most definitely my Potterhead overrules all. The books, movies actors and errything ON POINT.
Something which I have watched over and over again is Lord of the Rings.  A classic timeless, the precipice of fantasy, everything you could ever have wanted. The blood, battles, gore.  Not to mention Orlando Bloom as the infamous Legolas. *swoon
Anime and Korean dramas are also some things which occupy 90% of my time. I wish I was joking.
Enough of things that make me squeal.
Fangirl is all about a mousy girl named Cath who is an obsessive Simon snow fan. Shes read every single one of his books and she even writes fanfiction based on two of the main characters. I think the magical boarding school within the Simon snow series can be closely related to Harry Potter. Cath deals with social anxiety, a bi-polar farther and a sister who's determined to get as further away from Cath as possible. Everything is changing rapidly and Cath is barely keep afloat. Cath gets stuck with an intimidating new room mate called Raegan. I love her and her rough around the edges character. Que love interest. Levi. A tall, lanky and cute boy who just smiles ALL-THE-FREAKING-TIME.
I feel as though the title was misleading, The world that it creates is mainly revolving around how Cath can't leave Simon Snow behind. It's also filled with pointless extracts of the online fan fiction that Cath writes. Don't get me wrong, the relationships are dynamic and the problems that Cath has to overcome makes you eager to read more. I was looking forward to reading this book because I thought it would be relatable to fangirls everywhere. Unfortunately, this was not the case.
What I'm trying to say is, this book should have been a contemporary coming of age novel so no hopes were raised that finally, finally a book had been released depicting the true image of a Fangirl, how we really are and what the thousands stand for. How painful it is to get so emotionally invested in something like a fandom, or a series. 
I didn't necessarily like Cath's character that much. She was far too socially incompetent.

Cath broke open a box of protein bars. 

She had four more boxes and three giant jars of 

peanut butter shoved under her bed.

 If she paced herself, she might not have

 to face the dining hall until October.

God forbid she should have to face the monstrous dining hall.

Other than that I loved the relationship between the characters in the book. Wren and Cath. The twins and their farther. Reagan and Cath. Levi and Cath. Their relationships were all beautifully written, honest and realistic.

Overall, a solid read for a coming of age contemporary romance novel. A 3.75 stars out of 5.

Readers, keep reading.

In the cheer of fangirling, feast your eyes with some tumblr love.

  

(Its worth zooming in for this one. 

My favourites the second to last one)

A Watty to remember

Right, lets get one thing straight. I am all about the books. The pages, old or new, the spine, stiff or cracked, the state, weathered or pristine.
There's that buzzing feel in your hand that you get when you start that book you've been wanting for so long and it FINALLY arrives from amazon. Or perhaps you've been saving up, waiting until your mum takes you to WHsmith or Waterstones after days of begging with a list in your coat pocket because let's face it, it's been so long since you last went that it's shameful. Amazon is clearly the option for me :'(
 Maybe you even go to the library and you get ecstatic when you find out that the book you have craved after for oh-so-long is sitting on the shelf (this never works out for me. I cannot give them back. My deprived self needs them)
 I have never been one for kindles or audio books or whatever else they have come up with. BUT there is an exception.
I used to mock this creation before. It was an endless void filled with indistinguishable cliches and monotonous narratives, but that was before I had found 'them'. Prized possessions that inhabit the first row of my library. Constant updates are a thing to thrive off. You got it.
Wattpad.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is a review for one of the best books I have read on Wattpad.
'Illegal my ass'
Don't get put off my readers, for although the title may be like any other overrated story in the history of Watty's, this, I guarantee, is a game changer.
I want to start off by saying never have I ever laughed so much when reading a story (since Louise Renninson of course, that legend) The tears of laughter kept streaming down, so much so that I had to put my phone away and lay down for a while to get calm.. Quiet simply put, 'makeandoffer' is a literary genius and if she doesn't want to write, she should try stand-up comedy.
If you're not in it for the laughs, try the intense characters. The way she makes the plot so unpredictably remarkable. The story flows with wit, humor and general awesomeness.
Mia Hastings, after all, was never one to follow the rules. Shes a genuine and likable character. If she was a word, she would be Y.O.L.O. She lives in the moment and just goes with it along with her best friend, Lacey Richards. Her father works abroad and so she lives with her older brother, Nate. With no parental figure in the house, Mia is...unrestrained. Her hobbies include throwing paint filled ahem 'balloons' at cheerleader squads, occasionally shop lifting and sometimes giving boys she likes hypothermia for kissing another girl (understandable) Oh, and she also nearly skewered a boys left nut once. She's pretty bad ass.
  
                                    "Maybe cos your hands were exploring more than Dora. 

I wouldn't have minded but Dora had a map and a compass 

so she knew where she was going. You, on the other hand were

 like a tourist in the center of London. 

Lost as a f******* fiddle"

And here's when Drake comes in.
Drake is her brothers best friend who has been in jail for the past two years. What made me love this story the most was probably his enigmatic character.

"Listen Hastings, just because I spent the last two years

 of my life in a sausage fest does not mean

 I wave the pink flag loud and proud" 

He's known for being the bad boy, a womaniser and he parties hard. No matter how cliche that sounds, don't give up. YOU WILL END UP WITH STOMACH CRAMPS.
When Mia and Drake meet for the first time in two years, both with devil-may-care attitudes,unresolved issues of their own and more secrets than an episode of PLL, you can expect a story brimming with laughs, tears, fights and felonies. Overall, a 4.5 stars.

Read on guys, read on.

When it feels wrong, it's always more right

Remarkably retold fairytails

I'm struggling to find a way to open this blog.
There's more than quadruple the amount of readers I once had! No matter, I shall venture on and serve my purpose by reviewing a beloved trilogy.
For those that don't know me, I am irrevocably lazy. There's no two ways about it, which is why instead of posting separate reviews for each book, I'm congesting them in one. This, in no way decreases the value of these books. I'm simply a very lazy human.

Now I love a fairy tale as much as the next person, but my favourites by far are Pocahontas and Mulan. Perhaps the main reason for this is because the female protagonist isn't afraid to fight for herself, her country, her people. She isn't vulnerable, and for this reason, Marissa Meyers Lunar Chronicles stood out for me. Cinderella, Red riding hood and Rapunzel weren't exactly my favourites. I hated their petty ways. Sleeping beauty didn't need a prince to get down, Cinderella could have changed her fate by standing up to her cruel sisters, the prince was in love with her anyway. Red riding hood should have seen the warning signs and ran away sooner (I've learnt its better to be abrupt #childhoodruined)
BUT Marissa Meyers has recreated these stories and done the impossible...
 Cinderella is a cyborg (part human, part robot), the best mechanic in Beijing. Scarlet (Red riding hood) is a punk. She don't take shit from nobody (crass attempt at sounding hard. Sorry Miss. W) Sleeping beauty is a nerd with an uncanny ability to translate outer signals in space, an expert hacker. What more could I possibly want? She has literally taken childhood flimsy princesses and converted them into bad ass heroines that are working to save the world from the villainous hands of Queen Levana (BOO! We hate her)
Each book centres around each girl. Cinder, the mechanic, is trapped with her nefarious step mother. She takes the income Cinder makes from fixing things. Everything Cinder owns is hers, Cinder is an outcast, a nobody. She's not human, and constantly berated for that. Cinder makes sure not to be passive. She makes sure that her point is always heard, she's not scared to speak up and plans to soon escape. She's close to her stepsister, Pearl and spends most of her time with her android (cool robot dudes. Imagine Eve from Wall.E) within her small and cluttered shack in the market.

“I'm sure I'll feel much more grateful when I find 

a guy who thinks complex wiring in a girl is a turn-on.”

(I freakin' love this girl)

A plague ravages the raucous streets of New Beijing and threatens to take the lives of an entire population. The king is dying, and the next in Heir, prince Kai is being taunted with the cure by evil Queen Levana (stupid ruler of Lunar. She is a diabolical, devilish and demonic witch. BOO)
Without revealing too much, Cinder is inexplicably sucked in. She meets Kai when his android needs fixing. He comes to meet the best mechanic in Beijing and gets awkward, shy and mumbling Cinder. (SO CAYOOOT #teamkinder) Fast forward and Meyer has managed to convey the original fairytale in a cunningly clever way which you don't even see coming. I think that's something I greatly admire about her writing.

“Kai cleared his throat. Stood straighter.

 "I assume you are going to the ball?"

"I-I don't know. I mean, no. No, I'm sorry, I'm not going to the ball."

Kai drew back, confused. "Oh well... but... maybe you 

would change your mind? Because I am, you know."

"The prince."

"Not bragging," he said quickly. "Just a fact.” 

(Godangabit Cinder, pull your cyborg shit together)

Kai sees the girl behind the old overalls, behind the numerous grease stains from hours of working. He understands her and likes her for her timid and shy persona. He likes her for who she is (as cheesy as it sounds..but he doesn't know shes a cyborg yet!)

Moving on, Scarlet. Out of all three, this one guys. This one. I didn't think it'd be possible after Cinder, but Meyer made it possible. If I had to choose one to be, no doubt it'd be Scarlet.  A hot tempered feisty and spunky girl with flaming hair. She lives in Paris with her grandma and they both run farm produce..that is until her grandma goes missing. She is intent on finding her as her grandma is the only close relative of hers. 

Scarlet's life changes as she encounters wolf. A street fighter who she has no choice but to trust, as he may have information on the whereabouts of her grandmother. 

Wolff. Is. Hot. I don't give a rat's arse if hes fictional. Don't fight me on this. HOT. The chemistry that they have is tangible. Honest to God. 

                                             “We met less than a week ago and in that

 time I've done nothing

 but lie and cheat and betray you. I know. But if you give me a

 chance...all I want is to protect you. 

To be near you. For as long as I'm able"

(Goddammit Wolf, you're too hard on yourself)

Wolf turns out to be one of the countless soldier of Queen Levanas. I am so sorry but I couldn't keep it in. Wolf is truly in love with Scarlet and is willing to go against everything he has ever learnt, done and fought for.

“I knew they would kill me when they

 found out, but…” He struggled for words,

 releasing a sharp breath. “I think I realised 

that I would rather die because I betrayed

 them, than live because I betrayed you.” 

(There goes my heart...)

Right, no more spoilers. That is it. 

Moving on from their dynamic relationship, CRESS.

I admire what Cress can do the most. An intergalactic genius with the brains of Einstein. Throughout the books, we see Cress help Cinder even though Cress works for Queen Levana's right-hand-woman (a cruel and despicable creature know as Sybil. BOO)

Cress lives in a satellite. Yes, you read right. A FRIGGIN SATELLITE

Fast forward, and a series of unpredictable circumstances unite these three together. THIS is what I was talking about. Meyers manages to convey this story so fluently that you don't realise how easily things slid into place, like pieces of a huge jigsaw that were just meant to be and so, they were. Am I making sense? Its past twelve and I have to be up at 6 tomorrow, or I guess today.

Anyway, Cress is a nerd, that's for sure, but she's always had a dream of getting rescued like a typical damsel in distress, and she thinks It'll come true when she meets Captain Thorne (also awesome, he escapes with cinder from prison. Long story) but instead, Cress and Thorne crash land in a desert. Thorne turns blind (temporarily) and so has to rely on Cress, a girl who's never stepped foot on earth before to help them get out. NOT what Cress was imagining it to be!

Anyways, in total, this series deserves 4.7 stars out of 5. 

Readers, keep reading. 

Introducing.....the cast

 

Egypt, The Charming Sharm

In my last blog, I mentioned a recent trip to Egypt. I thought it would only be fair if I shared with you guys some amazing moments i managed to capture! Enjoy.
WAIT
But first, lemme share with you the books I took along with me.(You didn't honestly think it'd just be about my holiday!)
1. These broken stars by Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner
2. The language of flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh
3. We can be heroes by Catherine Burton
4. Girl Online (review is up!)
Expect reviews soon guys. Finally, enjoy!

 The resort itself was amazing! It was all inclusive so it seemed like everything was free WHOOOP DRINKS ALL DAY
Stone baked pizza, chips and burgers by the heated pool all day. Cold ice drinks and ice cream (only available between 11 and 1!)
We rarely made it to the dinner hall for lunch we were so full. Breakfast was good and dinner was even better.
It was quite simply, the dream. The people were very friendly and the temperature was 24 degrees, in WINTER!

Firstly,there was a gingerbread house in the lobby. Secondly, there was a ginger bread house in the lobby. AN EDIBLE GINGERBREAD HOUSE. My brothers and I had a blast scraping all the icing off quickly before we were caught and labelled 'homeless'. The whole lobby smelt of that aromatic delectable aroma. DEELISH! (although god knows how many days it had been there)

It was a needed relaxing holiday. The beach was perfect! We tried so many different things. Scuba diving, para sailing, snorkeling, quad biking etc. It was a flawless holiday, a place where I would definitely travel to again. The 6 hour flight with the heavy turbulence was worth it! Reading a book and drinking fresh mango smoothies was bliss. Add in a hookah pipe for a bit of flavor and there you have it guys, Charming Sharm.

 This picture was taken when we went speed boating. I got to drive the speedboat! I'm surprised everyone is still alive. I'm definite I made a mistake if the panic in the actual drivers voice is anything to go by after I turned the steering wheel (I was trying to get a feel for the whole sailor thing) Turns out all i had to do was sit there. I had to get off after that fml.

The red sea was enchanting. I couldnt stop taking pictures!

 Zabagad island was beautiful. We managed to collect many shells and had several sandcastle competitions. (I lost to my 12 year old brother multiple times. I don't even know how) We also went snorkelling from here. The underwater fishes were out of this world.

This last picture is amazing. A drunk Russian sailor crashed his ship after one too many. This wreckage is shown to the tourists who are travelling on the red sea. 

I hope you enjoyed my stay in Egypt. More soon. 

Read on guys, read on.

Girl Online! Wait...Zoe's a ghost!?

Girl Online. 
With her first debut, Zoella, the youtube star has scored the highest first week sales since records began.  Her book sold 78,109 copies in the first week, that's more than infamous Rowling, Dan Brown OR EL James (ooer..saucy!)

I picked up this book in Birmingham airport on my way to Egypt for new years (it was awesome, thanks for asking) I think what caught my eye for it to be the perfect holiday read was the air plane window picture, or perhaps the idyllic sunset setting on the beach. Or maybe even the milkshake. Looking down upon that velvet, creamy mass  resting against the perfect polka dress may have compelled me. What made me most excited, however overrated this sounds, is that one of my most beloved Youtubers had written a book! I was prepared to buy her biography but finding a story was even better. You can imagine my delight as I stroked the glossy cover on the plane, containing myself by keeping it closed until I was lathered in sunscreen and saw a swimming pool. 

The story 

It was amazing. I didn't know what i was expecting, but getting sucked into Penny's and Noah's world was...extraordinary. I think its inevitable to get drawn in. It whisks you away. At first, Penny is just an average girl living in BRIGHTON (I LOVE BRIGHTON) She has some personal problems she deals with, so she decides to start a blog, an awesome idea. She gets many hits as she relates to day to day girly problems like bitchy (pardon le french) so-called friends, major cringe moments and boy crushes.  Her best friend, Elliot is someone who i wish was MY best friend, sassy, stylish and true. I think what made me like Penny the most is that she's like me in so many aspects. Socially inapt CHECK clumsy DOUBLE CHECK crazy family HECK YES Are we related? Probably not.
Her mums eccentric wedding job takes them to New York for Christmas. Can we just discuss the place. Did i say it right? NEW YORK WOWWOWWOW. A place filled with magnifique, its unlike any city in the world (can you tell I've always wanted to go?)   Noah is someone who you cant help but fall in love with. She meets his guitar strumming ass (only works if you say it in an American accent) during the wedding set up. 

Noah is perfect. Seriously. Everything about him is impeccable. Penny, as awkward and incapable as she is, can feel comfortable and at ease around him. He makes the most cutest dates ever. For example, knowing her parents wont be comfortable with her going out of the hotel for a date with a guy she barely knows, he makes a picnic for both of them ON THE ROOFTOP. Who does that? Only the cutest most awesome guy ever. Its evident hes hiding something though, as Penny soon finds out. Will it wreck what they have?

One of the main reasons i love this book is because it's funny. I love a good chuckle and this book provided me with many, from Penny's derriere mishaps to Elliot's fantastic confrontation (megan is a B to the ITCH) 

"You have to be one of the most vacuous (look

it up), inane (look it up), stupid (you should know

 that one) people I've ever met. And if it wasn't for the 

fact you have just really, really hurt my best friend i 

wouldn't even be wasting a single pascal (look it up) of 

breath on you"

They (Elliot and Penny) then proceed to chuck those luscious milkshakes on Olly (the walking selfie) and megan (her name doesn't even deserve a capital letter.....yeah i went there. Sorry Miss.Wong) 
GO ELLIOT 
All in all, i would give it a 3.9 stars out of 5.

After
When I found out, I was crestfallen. It became impersonal. It was hers and yet, it wasn't. As i sit here desolately munching twiglets (they've grown on me) I think back to the times where I had imagined her voice sounding out Penny's speech, or perhaps some description. Alas, Zoella is a ghost....to be continued. #plottwist #quetwilightzone

All jokes aside, Zoe has made it clear she developed the plot and created the characters, however she didn't write the actual book which was hugely disappointing for me. I understand that it would be hard to resist an offer like that. 

Read on guys, read on.